chi fan le ma?

the BBC has created a list of “dos and don’ts” for foreigners while in beijing for this summer’s olympic games. learning the phrase “chi fan le ma?” tops the list. it’s translated as “have you eaten?” and is important to know, cause if you just shake your head “yes” all the time you ain’t gettin’ no food son. the list also says to be prepared for locals attempting to practice their english with you. don’t get confused if you hear a beijing local constantly talking about “CHIN-ER” or “CHIN-OR”. that’s just their ridiculous heavy beijing accent. it has a strong RRRRRRR on most words and can sound like they are growling at you. the dude is just talking about CHINA. took us a while to figure that out. HI SAM! i GUESS the most important tip is not calling you waitress a whore. “xiaojie” means “miss” but can be misinterpreted to mean lady friend. a better term to use is “fuwuyuan” which is close to “garcon”. now if you call someone that and she whips out a cell phone or calculator, she definitely is a lady caller and is ready to negotiate a price! might i suggest finding one of these nice ladies at night in “sanlitun”, which is a popular bar area near worker’s stadium (SOCCER!). during the day, the starbucks at the holiday inn in the “lido” area is probably as sure thing as well. LAST, but not least. don’t be surprised if you see security guards will large guns in fine establishments like mcdonald’s or KFC. they are just protecting the chicken type product they serve there!

waiting and waiting for “the big one”

many so cal residents had a nice wake up call on tuesday. YES, you live near a major fault line. however, the 5.4 magnitude earthquake that struck 2 miles southwest of chino hills was the biggest they’ve felt in over a decade. luckily no one was killed or seriously injured, nor was there any major structural damage. BUT NOW californians are just sitting there in anticipation of “the big one”. there is a 99% chance that “the big one”, which will have a magnitude of 6.7 or greater, will happen in the next 30 years according to the Uniform California Earthquake Rupture Forecast. according to CNN waiting for “the big one” is just “a chance many Californians are willing to take.” no, stupid no one is going to move out of LA just to escape the possibility of an earthquake! if they move up to the bay area the risk is the same. uh, anyone remember san fransisco 1989? so ok, californians can’t escape it, but what will happen when “the big one” strikes? while on a 4th grade field trip to the san andreas fault, a geologist said that california would break off completely from the continental united states. california already has one of the largest economies in the world, why not just be a self-sufficient island floating around?