talula does the hula plays with sex fruit.

man. her parents suck. nine year old “talula does the hula from hawaii” can legally change her name to uh, maybe something like sara? talula’s idiot parents thought they were being clever when really they just created a sentence with poor grammar. what the hell is wrong with these people? try being a first grader who is trying to write there name! the courts have blocked lots of fun names! my favorite are “sex fruit” and “fish and chips” (now what is wrong with fish and chips?). SOME MORON let a few slip through the cracks. somewhere out there “number 16 bus shelter” and “and tragically, violent” are running around. let’s not forget matthew mcconaughey’s nephew is named “miller lite”.

(no that’s not the girl formerly known as talula does the hula from hawaii. it’s just some kid from milwaukee.)

some guys fall asleep after sex, these guys fall asleep after burglary?

guys become drunk as a skunk. drunk skunks get sleepy and steal from a department store. police find them and take creepy pictures while they sleep. WINNERS. why did they decide to get hot pink pillows?

iraqi olympic team kicked out of sandbox

the international olympic committee announced today that the iraqi olympic team would be banned from 08.08.08 (clever huh? oh, those chinese). APPARENTLY your politicians are not suppose to run your country’s olympic committe. so the IOC says they are sorry and sad, but i think they really just didn’t want a fist fight to explode during the opening ceremony. iraq WAS going to send some rower dudes, a dude that lifts stuff, a dude that runs, a dude that throws a heavy frisbee, and a JUDOKA dude. awesome.

7/30/08 UPDATE: IOC allows iraq to compete in games after last minute talks.

barry makes questionable hand gestures in deutschland

uhhhhhhhhhh. i mean i know he is just waving to the crowd. but uh, dude you’re in germany. it’s probably best to keep it to the “miss america” wave. how to: arm at 90 degree angle, alternate rotation of thumb and elbow. simple yet elegant!

MERYL: MAKE SURE YOU TEACH HIM THIS!

newsflash! brittney no longer fat.

good for you britt! we had an over/under bet on when you would finally realize you looked like shit. most bets were placed waaaaaay under. cause i mean honey, you’ve been the white trash poster child for what, the last 4 years? your boys are lucky, now their friends can call you a MILF! miss britt unveiled her new look at an autism fundraiser hosted by jenny mccarthy and jim carrey. a party goer said “she looked great and seemed really happy. she smiled and clapped during the video about autism” really britt? you know autism is bad right? right?

shame, shame. trying to profit from a natural disaster.

ha! like no one has tried that before. apparently crazy dangerous drug smugglers used the chaos of hurricane dolly and tried to smuggle drugs and illegals across the texas border. but no, no, no, border patrol is too smart for you! they were totally able to spot you and your tractor trailer with 9,600 pounds of weed! next time, just make secret compartments in you car like everyone else. officials said the confiscated weed had a street value of $8 M. who is their dealer, and where do they come up with those prices??? that comes to about $52 an oz. SHIT, people pay that much just for an eighth! sign us up!