i might eat this

so, turns out make up is made up of all sorts of yummy things. you’ve got:

1. table salt 2. pepper spray 3. dynamite 4. egg whites 5. plastics 6. fart relief drops? 7. piss 8. something like antifreeze and 9. good ol’ crisco

yum, sounds delicious.

mcwhiny quits the trail.

MISTA phil gramm stepped down as co-chair of john’s campaign after people were kinda upset that he called everyone a bunch of “whiners”. apparently americans are not only going through a economic recession, but a mental one was well. ooo, that’s really not good. well anyway, phil-y phil phil’s comments didn’t make good ol’ john in the spotlight, and john totally threw him under the bus the first chance he got. awww, phil, don’t you just feel like the ugly step-child now? anyhoo, phil was sad he made the boss man look bad so he decided to quit instead of whine about it (good for him!). the former texas senator also thought that he’d mention his comments about the “whiners” and “mental recession” were about out country’s political leaders, not about the american people. oh , good thing, cause it’s not like those dingbats run the country or anything. props to you phil. hope you enjoy your new job at mcdonald’s (since i assume you’ll stay with the “mc” trend).

barry leaves for world tour. fans cheer.

on thursday barry stepped down in kuwait, which is the first stop of his summer “world tour”. today he will arrive in afghanistan and wants to see “what the situation on the ground is”. well, strap a vest on him, fill his canteen with lemonade and send him on out! i mean, that’s what he would do if he REALLY wanted to know what was happening. instead he intends to just ask a lot of silly questions. he totally just could have done that over the phone. these congressional “fact finding missions” just seem like an all expenses paid vacation. upgrade to presidential suite included. but barry stresses that i think it is very important to recognize that i’m going over there as a U.S. senator. we have one president at a time….” so maybe he won’t get that upgrade. i’m sure the views of kabul from the tattered balcony are stunning at night. he would have had an awesome view of the fireworks. critics (mccain-y) think barry is full of a lot of bull and that he has no idea on how to make friends overseas. but hey, barry has to up his foreign policy cool points some how. next stops for barry include iraq (if they can promise he won’t get blown up), jordan, israel, germany, france, and the UK. watch out. we don’t want anyone to die of dysentery.